AND I RANT! CHINESE TRADITIONS

So that was me when I was little (Not really), those were some dark times when other kids would call me names like 'Teletubbies' or 'Pony Butt' or the classic 'Mr Dust Brush'..... that picture is a representation of what I wanna talk about, chinese haircuts! No not really, more like CHINESE TRADITIONS! There are a few things that bugs me, but I was able to avoid them when I moved to Australia. But once in a while when we have relatives over from Hong Kong, those god awful traditions would come visit me in the foreign country and smack me across the face like a hooker who owns their pimp money. And I was expected to know all these tradition even when I wasn't born in the 1930s? Problem is that my relatives take these tradition quite seriously, one small mistake and I could've cursed my family for 100 years. My friend Chio told me that a western friend of hers got married to a Japanese wife, they were having dinner with the wife's mother, he made the mistake of kissing his wife on the cheek before going to the bathroom, the mother got really offended and didn't talk to his son in law for years... Yes. I am gonna go through a few odd tradition or practice my chinese family follows that I really dislike. And I understand that certain people who reads this may find the following things offensive and disrespectful to their believes, I just wanna state early on that if I have offended you in anyway, I truly and wholeheartedly do not give a shit.



STOP PUTTING FOOD ON MY BOWL! >:U   One very common practice in a chinese meal is that when there is food in the middle of the table, it is your responsibility (Usually as a younger member) to get food for your elderly, as you can see from the image above there's a man and a young lady picking up food with their chopsticks and placing it on the older woman's bowl. I know you can't really tell whats happening exactly with just an image, maybe the man and lady was stealing food from grandma even. And whats with that white background? Are they in heaven? Are they eating their meal on a cloud? This image is very confusing to say the least.. But anyway my point is that if you are a younger member of the family it is your responsibility to get food for your grandparents.... and uncles... and aunties... and pretty much every member when I think about actually. But its not a one way thing because they too will pick food for you after and put it on your bowl. GOD I FREAKIN HATE THAT, I don't want their saliva filled chopstick touching my food! And they don't know what food I like! If i want something I will get it for myself thanks! My grandparents has arms and are capable of getting their own food! Whats worse is that it is considered impolite to not eat the food placed on your bowl, everyone has certain food they don't like so before you get food for them you should do your research on every member of the family. Oh did I mention it is also impolite to tell other people which food you don't like? It really becomes a game of reading people's faces, you have to try and guess from their expression whether they are telling the truth or a lie. *sigh* Who came up with this tradition? Probably some old lazy guy who just wanted people to get them food without him making the effort of reaching for it!



STOP DISCOURAGING YOUR CHILD AND CALLING THEM OFFENSIVE NAMES So thats me in the photo (Not really) crying my eyes out . Another common tradition is that chinese parents likes to give their sons and daughter discouraging comments in front of other people. If for example another family make compliments about your daughter's polite manners, it is your duty to respond by saying 'No she is not, she is very naughty and lazy you just don't know it'. If a person makes a compliment about your son's awesome piano skills, you have to say "No no no, my idiot son is very slow at learning!". Also it is common for parents to call their son and daughter by very offensive names, names like 'my naughty son' 'my idiot daughter' 'my dumb kid' and 'my rebelious child', and the job for the kid is to just simply smile. I ain't exaggerating either.... My dad also call me those names sometimes, I remember once asking him why he called me that, he replied saying its so that I wouldn't get too arrogant... umm wth? Yo how is calling your child discouraging names supposed to help them with their confidence in life? Its not a healthy practice at all. Especially when a child doesn't understand that the parents don't really mean what they say, they are just saying it to keep the child from not getting too.. arrogant...or whatever the f*ck reason that is. I know this totally sound like I had childhood trauma... someone get me a box of tissue.



SOMONE DIED IN OUR FAMILY SO WE CAN'T VISIT YOUR HOUSE The title is no joke, if there's a death in your family, you cannot visit another person's in fear that it will bring misfortune to their house.... You know what that is like? Its like they are treating a death in the family like its a spreadable disease, and according to certain tradition you are not allowed to visit another house for up to 49 FREAKIN DAYS! I actually never knew about this tradition until end of last year when my grandpa from my dad's side sadly passed away, so I was in Hong Kong for the funeral, my grandpa and grandma from my mum's side would call me out to lunch in restaurants and then make some excuses to leave me alone after lunch... I kept wondering why, because usually I would visit their house and stuff. Then I found out from my parents that its because my grandpa had died and my superstitious grandparents are scared that I would curse their house....OMFGBATMAN even my mum wasn't allowed to visit her parents house during that trip last year! I was both disappointed in their superstitious nonsense and felt kinda disgusted by their way of thinking. Oh and apparently everyone in Hong Kong knew about this odd tradition, my little cousin would inform her friends that her grandpa has died so she cannot visit their house for 49 days, everyone knew except for poor little Ry who had to find out the hard way. So yeah throughout my stay in Hong Kong I couldn't visit anybody's house except for ones from my family, it just annoys me that not only is a death in a family sad, but then not being able to have someone offer me comforting words in their own house. RRAAAWWWRRRRRRR



FUNG F*CKING SHWAY! The image above isnt a Pokemon type advantage chart. But rather a popular chinese believe called the Fung Shway, its a set of non scientific illogical rules that can supposibly make you rich and avoid bad luck. But of course like most superstitious practice, its just another scam to rip money off silly people isnt it? People would literally pay thousand of dollars to Fung Shway masters to offer advice on their house. They'll be like 'move the cupboard to the left to avoid the bad omen' or 'have the table flipped to double your income.' some crazy shit like that. My grandparents believe in all that... my grandpa from mum's side is so extreme that he has a hatred towards dogs, why? Simply because he's born in the year of the dog... my mum wasn't even allowed to have a Snoopy toy when she was little because of that apparently. True story.

Im sure there are still a couple of chinese traditon that bugs me out.. but I can't think of more at the moment, if your country also has some odd tradition that annoys the hell out of you, please comment below and share your thoughts!

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