Im not sure if its the same for you guys, but to me, when I just sit down and draw, I feel extremely relaxed and like I am in my own personal space, and I become a bit like a zombie. Somtimes I like to listen to podcast and music, sometimes I just listen to nothing and just let my brain wander while I draw, somtimes I talk to people while I draw. Drawing is a very intersting and relaxing activity that doesn't require a lot of thinking, I'm pretty much on autopilot when I draw, like a mindless zombie, and I love it. I can't do that when I am writing or studying though, like how I am writing this journal, I can't put on a podcast and write at the same time, because I need attention to both for it to make sense, one mind cannot multitask two story driven activities. I duno, I find that interesting. Like how I can't read while having a conversation either, I am not sure if any human can actually? If you can, please let me know of your superpowers. I may wanna meet you, and steal your powers, pretty much I will be your archenemy.
So like many things I talk about, this journal also doesn't really have a point. I guess I am just trying to say that I love drawing? Its my passion, its my hobby, its my job, its my personality, its pretty much my whole life right now. I have decided not to work for any companies and just remain as an individual contractor, and I love that. I love that my client appreciate what I do and tend to let me do my own thing if they want me to do some work for them, I love how I can choose whether I want to or not, you can't do that if you work for a company. I love getting the recognition for my work and not doing something that the company takes all the credits for. And so far its been working out quite well for me. I guess what I am trying to say is that I will not sell out, no matter how much a company pays me. I have had offers to join certain company for X amount of dollars that I have refused to do because they won't let me have my creative freedom, pretty much they wanna OWN me, and thats a scary thought because thats what most people do in this world, they get owned and used, its sad but its the harsh reality. Its a bit like this, I strongly beliefs that money isn't everything, money is a necessity and it creates more opportunity for you to do things, but its not everything to this world. I have been brought up with that mentality by my parents. They always told me that you should never betray your own believes (If your beliefs are healthy that is). So I stand by that, and my beliefs is that if you can do what you enjoy and not hurting anybody and doing positive things to the world, then don't let anyone tell you different, don't advertise for a product you don't even use just to make some extra cash. Have I ever drawn a fan art I am not a fan of? Never in my whole damn life. You should only draw a fan art of something you are a fan of, otherwise it kinda defeats the purpose of a FAN art.. you know what I mean? So yeah, don't sell out, don't do stuff just for the money. Amen. Never sell out.
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